I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s. When I heard the diagnosis I cried. Not because I was sad but because everything made sense. I had to develop so many coping mechanisms and all the buildup anger because I felt like a miss fit, even in my own family.
No one understood how hard I had to work to fit into the normal school system, finding ways to study. The way people treated me if I think back the trauma still lingers. Today is a new day and I understand myself better and I am finally me. No more putting on a mask, I say out loud that I am ADHD. I made it through 4 years of university. Was always a pattern for me…
Hanging out with friends and getting overwhelmed, I took long bathroom breaks often to getaway. My mother did not understand why I don’t like certain textures of food and a South African mom… They are full of nonsense. I still break my own stuff… Always just treated for anxiety, depression and insomnia. Low self-esteem, chronically stressed, and feeling out of control. I had friends but it was so much effort, now just one but she understands my crazy.
Sometimes I do wonder, what if my parents picked it up earlier, what could I have been. My full potential, but then I realize that thought is my symptom of never feeling good enough. Life was not easy growing up, but I made it. Today I am a mom of a 6-year-old daughter with ADHD and I know exactly what to do to make her feel loved and safe. Creating an environment filled with all things creative. I never want her to feel the way I did growing up.
